Cock a Doodle Do Me in The Ass

At 6:45 this morning, a 23 year old Canadian boy who is working as a diplomat in Africa, called me and woke me up to masturbate.

“I woke up with a raging hard on and decided to call you.”

“Hey, Kevin. What’s going on?”

“I’m thinking about your dick in my ass.”

“Oh. So did you have a nice Christmas?”

“You have me bent over the bed and you’re pounding me.”

I’m totally into dirty talk during sex and I admit that I’ve had my share of phone sex experiences. However, I’ve never been commanded at the crack of dawn to talk dirty to someone I hadn’t spoken to in 8 months. I at least expected a short conversation about the latest African fashions before telling Kevin that I wanted to shoot my load down his throat.

But here I was blinking my eyes trying to see the time while he was telling me, “Yeah. Fuck that ass. Fuck it good!”

I couldn’t let the young boy down even though I was in no mood to masturbate. So I sat up in my bed.

“And then I’d turn you over so I can see your face.”

As I urinated, seated so he couldn’t hear, I told him, “You have one leg on my shoulder and the other is laying sideways so you can fit my huge cock inside of you.”

While I drank a glass of orange juice and made some tea I decided that it was time to cum. “Oh yeah. That feels so good. I think I’m going to cum. It feels so good being inside of you. Oh my God. I’m cuming. I’m cuming. Yeah. Oh yeah.”

Fortunately, Kevin was able to cum at the thought of me cuming. When he was finished, I expected a conversation about his life and what he’d been doing. Instead I got, “That was great dude. Thanks. Listen, I don’t want to burn up all my minutes so I’ll send you an email.”

I understand that I have the look of a whore. No amount of bleach or Spray and Wash can get rid of it. However, I would appreciate it from now on, if people waited until I’ve had my cup of green tea before barking at my dick to perform miracles. Thank you New York and good night. Oh, and have a great New Years.