The Day of the Big Show!

This past Sunday, Lavurn, I have to say that you and I rocked a few worlds at the Big Awards show for our football league. It was just as we planned, full of naked men writhing with pleasure, and that was only one minute into the show! You gotta love fag football.

It's hard to say where we went right, honestly. The skits were less funny than I thought they would be, no one could remember their lines, but somehow, the crowd just ate it up. It may have something to do with the free rum drinks and the $1 beer specials, but Vurn, there is no denying that we were Beloved, just like that Oprah movie.

You looked smashing in your tux without studs and I wore my cowboy hat with the dignity of Jake Gylenhall. If only I could have graced the stage in my Bjork Swan outfit as I had planned, there wouldn't have been a dry eye in the house. So, my friend, I only have one question for you. When do we take our talent on the road to Vegas?